5 Signs You Might Need a Social Media Detox.

So, you guys, I did a thing.

I quit social media. *gasp*

Well, I went on a “social media detox.” Don’t worry, not forever. I don’t think.

Basically, what it came down to, was that I felt like with all the outside noise coming in, I was so distracted + disconnected from my own inner wisdom. Intentionally or not, I was consuming everyone’s thoughts, opinions, lives, successes, failures, triumphs, and heartaches as if they were my own. Comparing myself and my business to what I was doing or not doing, whether they were personal friends or inspirational idols, something registered in the back of my head, “you’re not doing enough.”

And over the course of the last few months, something deep within me was just begging for a break.

Rest.

Silence.

Quiet.

Eventually, I just got so annoyed with perceived expectations for business and life, and how much this little aspect of life controlled me, that I had to pull back and look at the bigger picture with how it was affecting me in my day-to-day life + relationships.

How long is this social media detox going to last? I am not sure. I am leaving it open-ended. No boundaries, just whatever feels right. My hope coming out from the other side of it is that it will be a facet, an extension of me and my brand, but not the sole-force. Maybe I’m late to the game and everyone has it all figured out and can balance it fine, but if you are like me, you can’t deny that something’s gotta give: your sanity or your social media. #amiright

Today I am going to share with you a few red flags that I came across with my own social media use, and why you might want to give your relationship to your phone habits a second glance, too.

CHECK YOUR MORNING ROUTINE

What do you do when you first wake up in the morning? Do you roll over to the side of your bed to turn off your alarm, and then 30 minutes later find yourself deep down the rabbit hole of your exboyfriend’s, girlfriend’s, brother’s new pet rabbit’s page? #guilty

When I decided enough was enough, I found myself instantly grabbing my phone first thing every morning, and mindlessly scrolling through the latest posts. This first interaction of the day (filling my mind with so much unnecessary info) then set the tone for how I felt about myself and my life for the rest of the day. Not cool man, not cool.

TRY THIS: Instead of sleeping with your phone in the bedroom, have a “no phones” bedroom policy. Leave it downstairs overnight to charge, and you will be less tempted to check it first thing in the morning. Use it for an alarm clock? Get an actual clock! (like this natural light one!) #duh OR put your phone on airplane mode or “do not disturb” and set it across the room so that you have to get up to turn it off. Afraid you’ll miss an emergency? Mark certain numbers in your contacts as “favorites” so that if they call during your “do not disturb” hours, it will override the setting and you will be notified.

MINDLESS SCROLLING

I’ve noticed we are so quick to look at our phones when we find ourselves in boredom or discomfort. We find ourselves less and less in the present moment because we are so quick to grab our phones and “capture” things and share them, because TBH…“if you didn’t post it to social media, did it really even happen?”

I would even go so far as to say we are numbing ourselves with this little world that we have access to in our pockets, as we would with any other addiction, but that might get everyone in a tizzy. #idigress

Don’t believe me? Take a look around you and see:

grocery store lines
coffee lines
airport terminals
restaurants
waiting rooms
music festivals
commercial breaks
road trips
first dates
family gatherings
parties

As a 90’s kid, there was a time when you could just be “bored” and your parents would kick you out of the house and make you play outside. I don’t know about you, but out of boredom arose my biggest creativity. In one instance, we imagined life-sized board games, and spent the whole afternoon creating the game-scape out of chalk in our neighbor’s driveway. It was the coolest (and maybe dorkiest) thing ever. But we created over consuming something.

TRY THIS: Next time you find yourself in a situation of boredom or discomfort, allow yourself to sit with that feeling and resist the urge to instantly grab your phone to mindlessly scroll. Assess why you might have those feelings or urge to “escape”. Journal it out. Look up and notice what’s going on around you. Daydream. Doodle. Maybe start to carry an actual book with you to read during that awkward downtime instead. (Not that you need to spend more time on social media, but have you seen this Instagram account?) Practice. With time, it won’t feel as uncomfortable.

COMPARISON GAME

Oh comparison, that ol’ game.

I am pretty sure it is in our human DNA to size up one another for some modern version of the “survival of the fittest”. But like we’ve all heard time and time before, COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY. And ain’t nobody got time for dat!

Whether you admit it or not, we all do it. It’s out nature to see how we stack up compared to someone else, because it’s a marker to let us know how we are doing. Examples: athletes for performance, or businesses for strategy. However, when that begins to move from a place of harmless information to destructive inner criticism, it doesn’t do you any good.

TRY THIS: Unfollow any account that makes you feel less than. You can always follow them back later. Even if they were originally a source of inspiration and joy, as soon as it turned to you questioning whether or not you are good enough… its time it gets the boot. #itsnotyouitsme

PRESENCE IN LIFE

You can probably already gather what I am going to talk about here. While these instruments are great vehicles to get our message out, share our experiences, or catch up with long lost friends, they also distort our perception of reality. We often depict the highlight reel, and as a result, we can lose sight on what it means to be human.

During my 5 years as a High School Senior Portrait Photographer, I noticed with each new round of kids came less and less presence and attentiveness in conversation. With each new class came less and less eye contact and more eye strain. And sometimes their parents were just as distracted.

TRY THIS: We miss so much when we are constantly looking down. Instead, let’s try to look up. Put the phones away, engage in eye contact, show interest in the person sitting right next to you, and don’t be afraid of the moments of silence. On your next date night or girls night or family night, let’s vow to set aside the digital life to fully focus on the real lives in front of us.

BIZ BONUS: ASSESS YOUR EFFORTS

I found myself putting more energy into something that could “go away in an instant” rather than my face-to-face connections, and my ACTUAL business. Social media is meant to be part of the thing; just not THE thing. At least in my eyes. #callmeoldfashioned #whatever

Social media is meant to be part of the thing; just not THE thing. Click To Tweet

Is it just me or are you just freaking tired of all of the #ads? Not the actual ads on those sites, but the ones posted by other users because they are paid for collaboration. I totally get it is a legit business. I’ve partnered with companies I believe in, and have been paid to promote them. I think it’s a really cool way of making an income that none of us ever dreamed would exist years ago.

But, that constant flood of “advertisement” wears a girl out. Maybe I just need to follow new people. Haha.

If you are a business owner, I beg you to consider what it is that you are putting out on your platform on a daily basis. I don’t know about you, but I am just tired of being sold to, and now with “influencers” on the rise, there is hardly any way to dodge it. Some do a really great job at integrating it authentically, but I can pretty much spot a paid post from a true post a mile away.

TRY THIS: If you are a brand or a blogger, I would hope you would begin to seek longterm partnerships over one-time opportunities. Building a brand and sharing on a platform is a gift, and if your community values what you say, you’d want to do right by them. I’d hope you seriously consider the opportunities that come your way, and work hard to be exclusive in what you say “yes” to, even if that means turning down quick income, but doesn’t 100% fit with your overall message. Be selective and develop relationships with the companies you truly use and trust, so that you uphold your integrity with your community.

HITTING RESET

I’m sitting here at one of my favorite coffee shops writing all of this, and I see a cute old man sitting across from me. It’s apparent that he’s taken himself out for a little afternoon date to get out of the heat, or perhaps end the day early for some cold ice cream and catching up on the latest news of the world. And you know what he is doing? He’s not on his phone. In fact, a phone is nowhere in sight. He’s reading a simple, old-fashioned newspaper. You know, the ones that people swore would die off. Yeah, those ol’ things.

We are primal people living in a digital age, and while technology is all well and good in many aspects, I honestly don’t think our biology + physiology has fully adapted to this chronic stimulation. There’s gotta be a breaking point. And with the rise of cyber-bullying and teen suicides, it has to make you wonder why we are putting these things in the hands of our children, when we don’t even fully understand them yet.

TRY THIS: Give yourself the opportunity to disconnect. You don’t have to go on an epic hiatus, but perhaps one day a week, let’s implement a #noscrollday. Whatever day fits best for your schedule. I like Saturdays or Sundays, but you do you, boo. Get out of the house, and get back in nature. Walk barefoot, nap under a tree, swim in a river, stare at the stars, surf a wave, or spot a sunset.

At the end of the day, everything, including you, works again if you hit the reset button (or blow out the Nintendo cartridge). #doesthatreallyshowmyage?

But you get what I’m saying, right?